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Just one Guy's personal blog of thoughts & sense--common, non, and otherwise--of the world in which we live.

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Location: Nipomo, Central Coast, California, United States

I also blog over at Nipomo News, Messenger and Advocate and Bloggernacle Times

Friday, November 18, 2005

BYU vs. U of U Rivalry

It's that time of year again, when all the big school football rivalries play out. It's no different for BYU and Utah. I'm, of course, a BYU graduate. For those uninformed on the subject, it's also known as "The Lord's University". On the other hand, if you're a Ute (sorry NCAA) fan, your retort is that you attend the School that Brigham Young actually founded, rather than the one that bears his name.

Anyway, today's Salt Lake Tribune (that's the heathen liberal Newspaper in Salt Lake City--not Church owned) has a pretty funny article on the rivalry between the two biggest letters in all of Utah, the "Y" and the "U". You can read it here.

Some of the funniest parts:

The Urban Dictionary, a Web site at urbandictionary.com where readers submit their own definitions for people, places or things, has this definition, obviously submitted by a BYU fan:

University of Utah: A taxpayer-supported university located in Salt Lake City for people who don't have the grades or the test scores to get into BYU; want to major in smoking pot, getting laid, drinking beer . . . or journalism; want to study Marxism; are non-Mormon or Jack Mormon

Not to be outdone:

Meanwhile, the Utahania blog reported that an enterprising Ute fan put a picture of BYU's mascot for sale on eBay, noting Cosmo has had all his shots and has been neutered. The bid reached $26 Thursday.

The rest of the article then points out some observations on the differences between the Y and the U:
Several of the Ute players are so young they still don't shave. They will compete with 30-year-old, 400-pound linemen, quarterbacks with five kids, and receivers already vested in their employers' retirement plans.

BYU players have a prayer before every game. Ute players have performed ritualistic lamentations following many of their games.

Utah fans strip down and paint themselves for cold November games because they're drunk. BYU fans do it because they're stupid.

Ute fans don't boo the other team. They've been too busy this year booing their own. BYU fans don't boo at all. Instead, they proudly boast their colors, yelling in unison: Bluuuuuuuuuue. Bluuuuuuue. Bluuuuuuuue.

BYU fans still follow the life and activities of their beloved legendary coach, LaVell Edwards. Ute fans are following closely the fortunes of the Florida Gators, and are secretly hoping they lose.

Ute fans drink their caffeine hot. BYU fans drink their caffeine cold.

To BYU fans, the screwdriver on game day remains in the drawer in the garage
with the other unused tools while the game is being played. To Ute fans, the screwdriver on game day is breakfast.

For BYU fans, the forward pass is a common topic of discussion during Sunday School lessons. For Ute fans this year, the forward pass has led to many silent prayers, followed by many sinful profanities.

Many Ute co-eds like the Britney Spears bare-midriff look. Many BYU co-eds prefer the Marie Osmond look, as do many of the male BYU students.

BYU students have been known to jump out of the stands and tackle Ute cheerleaders as they parade along the sidelines. Ute cheerleaders have been known to beat the crap out of the BYU fans who tackle them.

Many Ute fans voted for Rocky Anderson. Many BYU fans still think Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.

Many Ute fans went into withdrawal when Tom Barberi was taken off the air and were all atwitter when the guy who coined the phrase, "Utah by five," came back on the air. Many BYU fans need their daily Sean Hannity fix, which is why they still believe Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.

Utah is known for its leadership in medical research, bio-engineering and for launching Karl Rove. BYU is a leader in producing quarterbacks, TV anchors, beauty queens and white collar criminals.

Looking forward to Saturday's game! (Go Blue!)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might try to convince people that BYU is the "Lords University" but we all know that the UofU is the School of the Prophets. You can't name one Prophet(President of the Church who went to BYU but most went to the UofU; hence "School of the Prophets" Even your present BYU president is from where?----UofU

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My argument wouldn't be that Brigham Young actually founded the U--who really cares about that??! What really does matter is that BYU sucks and they're going down this weekend!

3:17 PM  

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